jenniferlawrences:

let’s not even pretend there’s something worse than your mom passing you the phone for you to wish happy birthday to a relative

yaygocats:

discomplete:

“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography

“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.

jesspinkman:

being a pessimist is great i’m always either right or pleasantly surprised 

#the optimistic look on pessimism  

dangermat:

when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicide

alrightpotter:

people say teenagers are reckless and unable to make proper mature decisions so why does the majority of my future rely on the decisions i make when i am a teenager

your move society

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood

nosdrinker:

autocorrect needs to stop capitalizing “omg” i’m not that excited

“We were all living on this one floor next door to each other, room to room. Doors were open all of the time; we never slept. It was like a dorm. We had a lot of fun. Mainly we played a lot of music together and really supported each other.” - Logan Lerman